Life


“I hate Sunday evenings.”

“Why?”

“It’s the beginning of another cycle…”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…every Sunday evening, I’m reminded that this is the last week of my life.”

“What!?”

“Well, look at me…on Monday morning, I go to work…I work the whole week, doing nothing of particular importance, waiting for the weekend. On the weekend, I mow the lawn, clean the house, and on Sunday, I watch football on television and dread the coming day…it’s all the same…it might as well be the same week, repeated over and over. And so it’ll go, until I have a heart attack and die. This is, for all intents and purposes, the last week of my life.”

“Damn, you’re pessimistic…what if you live to retirement age?”

“Well, then I’ve got two weeks left: the first working, then dreading the coming work week; the second sitting in a chair watching television, reading, and waiting for death. I’ve got at most, two weeks to live.”

“How depressing…”

“Yes, but if you think about it, now your brain tumor doesn’t seem so unfair, does it? I mean think about it: you’ve got six months to live! You can do anything. Go skydiving, quit your job, spend all your money…the healthy people are the unlucky ones.” And with that, the oncologist left the examination room.

Joseph stared into the microwave. As it hummed along, he liked to imagine that it was singing to him. A thousand times, he’d tried to place the tune it was singing, so he could sing along, but to no avail.

Beep! Beep! Beep! it chirped. He opened the door and plopped his now-warm scone onto a plate. As he hunted in the refrigerator — which, incidentally, seemed to sing a different tune — for the jam, he glanced at his watch. Not much time until he had to leave.

Slathering jam on his scone, he smiled. Nothing like a warm scone on a Friday morning. He took a bite, made a face, and then dumped the lot into the garbage, wiping a fleck of greenish mold from his lips. Nothing like a moldy scone on a Friday morning. He grabbed his keys and his briefcase and headed out, locking the door behind him.

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